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Snowy Shrubbery 

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Rufus and Clarence

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There once were two men who lived on opposites of a river: Rufus and Clarence. These two men hated each other! So every morning after the sun came up they’d each go to the edge of the river and shout insults at each other. They would say things like ‘You better be glad I can’t swim because, if I could, I’d go over there and whoop you!’ This happened every day for 20 years. Then a bridge was built across the river. One morning, a year after the bridge was built, Rufus’ wife came out and interrupted Rufus before he insult Clarence. She said to him, “You have been doing this for 21 years! Now that there’s a bridge, why don’t you just go over to the other side and whoop Clarence like you’ve been saying you would all these years?” Rufus decided he would do that but, when he was halfway across the bridge, something scared him and he ran home screaming. His wife had no idea what scared him, so she asked him. Once he caught his breath, he told her, “I got halfway across the bridge and then I saw a sign that said ‘Clearance 13 feet, 6 inches’. He never looked that tall from across the river!”