Lord I’m Ready Now
We’ve surely all heard the infamous story of Jekyll and Hyde. They are two sides to the same person. The difference is quite extreme. One is good and one is evil. It is a case of split personality disorder. While not many of us have two literal personalities living in us, most of us have two sides. Especially Christians. We have that side of us that is Christlike and holy, and that side of us that ruins our righteousness; that side that is not who we are. It’s our sinful side. Sometimes it shows itself for a brief moment when we break character and cuss at someone on the road. Othertimes, it shows itself for longer periods of time when we experience a lapse in judgement, such as when we put ourselves in a place where we will be tempted to sin and, consequently, do. Either way, when we switch back to our godly side, we realize that what we did was wrong and we feel guilty. We know in our hearts that the person God made us to be would not do what we just did. Romans 7:15 says, “I do not understand what I do…What I hate I do.” Verse 20 goes on to say, “If I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.” Ever since the days of Adam and Eve, mankind has had a sinful nature. We let this sinful nature, this other side of us, take over sometimes. In a song by Plumb titled ‘Lord, I’m Ready Now,’ she sings the lyrics, “I was so caught up in who I’m not.” That happens. I can think of many times when that’s happened to me. When my godly side got mad at my sinful side because it couldn’t believe that it made my body do what it just did. These two sides war against each other, see? They cannot coexist. One always comes out on top. Another song that comes to mind is ‘My Own Worst Enemy’ by Casting Crowns. The song is about warring against your sinful side. The reason I titled this post ‘Jekyll and Hyde’ is because I just heard a Plumb song by that title. There’s an excerpt from that song that fits well here. “You make it look like I am the crazy one here.” In the worst of situations, when it feels like you’ve hit rock bottom, you begin to wonder if choosing to live your life for God was the right decision. You think back on your sins and wonder if they’re even that bad. You begin to think that it’s not fair that God doesn’t let you do what you want. The “you” that Plumb is referring to is her sinful side: Hyde. It makes her feel like her godly side is crazy, and not her sinful side. It makes her feel like she’s crazy for not doing what she sees others doing. There comes a point in every Christian’s life when they want to give into their sinful side. Permanently. It is then that you have to weigh the pros and cons of being a godly Christian. It is then that you must remember the guilt you’ve felt in the past when your sinful side took over. Then you will realize that it’s worth it to be a Christian. Not easy, but worth it. It’s okay to live a life that others don’t understand. It’s best to not let your sinful side get the upper hand.